The First Step Is Not Readiness: Why Curiosity Matters More Than Confidence
You’ve thought about going to therapy or joining a group, whether online or in person. You’ve read the previous blogs. Something about being witnessed, not fixed, felt like it might apply to you.
And then your stomach dropped.
Because joining a group or seeing someone, even one that says it’s therapeutic and supportive, still means showing up. It means being seen. It means not knowing how you’ll be perceived, whether you’ll say too much or not enough, or whether you’ll have to explain something you don’t even have the words for yet.
You’re not scared.
You fear what it might reveal about you.
I want to say this as gently and clearly as possible: most people feel like this. I felt like this when I began my own therapy journey.
Most people listen at first. Sometimes you can see the shoulders drop about fifteen minutes in, when they realise nobody is waiting for them to be interesting. The breath loosens. The jaw softens. That tight feeling behind the ribs eases slightly. And sometimes, just sometimes, you hear someone else say the thing you thought only lived in your head. Something shifts. You feel a little less strange. A little more real.
You can be quiet without being invisible.
You can speak without being scrutinised.
You can say “I don’t know” and have it land as a complete sentence.
There’s no pressure to prove your insight or produce a breakthrough. There is simply space.
Readiness is not the starting point. Curiosity is.
If you're between fifteen and twenty-three and something in this month's writing has landed for you, you’re welcome to join us in the group just for you. You don’t need to be sure. You don’t need to be ready. Just curious. The Navigate Collective meets fortnightly online. It’s gentle, structured, and real. A place to practise existing without the performance. You can read more about it on my website.
If you’re older and this still resonated; welcome. These reflections are written with all of us in mind. I also offer 1:1 therapy for adults navigating similar themes.
This reflection was inspired by themes from Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima, a book I’m currently reading alongside some of my clients. You can find the book here. It’s not a requirement. Just another voice naming something you, or we, might already be feeling.
Working Through This Yourself?
If any part of today’s reflection touched something in you, you don’t need to hold it alone. I offer individual therapy for adults navigating identity, relationships, cultural pressure, or emotional overwhelm — and I run The Navigate Collective for young people aged fifteen to twenty-three who want a gentler place to land.
