What if I’m Just Not Worthy?

You never chose to believe you were unworthy.

That belief didn’t arrive fully formed. It was absorbed slowly, through glances, silences, unmet needs, and moments that seemed small but left a mark. Maybe it started when you were told you were "too much" or when your sadness made people uncomfortable. Maybe you learnt to earn love by being easy, helpful, and quiet. Or maybe it wasn’t what anyone said; it was what they didn’t. The absence of safety. The absence of being chosen.

You didn’t wake up one day and decide you were unworthy. But over time, you started to believe it. That belief didn’t stay hidden. It shaped everything. The way you approached relationships, the way you set boundaries (or didn’t), the way you over-functioned to feel needed. You began to anticipate rejection and call it self-awareness. You called your fear of abandonment independence. You called your exhaustion strength.

And now you find yourself here, not just aware of the belief but tired of it. Tired of the ways it keeps you small. Tired of second-guessing your needs. Tired of waiting to feel worthy before you let yourself rest.

You don’t need another affirmation. You don’t need to repeat "I am enough" until it sticks. What you need is to name what the belief has cost you. The moments you didn’t show up fully. The risks you didn’t take. The softness you denied yourself. You need to see the belief not as a flaw, but as a survival strategy that has outlived its usefulness.

This week, just notice:

When does the voice of unworthiness speak loudest?

What does it sound like?

Whose voice does it echo?

You don’t have to silence it. You just have to stop letting it speak as if it tells the whole truth.

Next week, we’ll meet the voice that keeps you safe by keeping you small.

This reflection was inspired by themes from Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life by Jamie Kern Lima. I'm reading it alongside some of my clients this season. If you'd like to read alongside with me, the link to the book is https://amzn.to/42Eq8Xe